August 7, 2004 ~ 3:30 am

On the beach in Aqaba, Jordan



Looking out from Aqaba to Israel, Saudi Arabia and Egypt

Thinking about identity and belonging

Sitting with a group of high-brid kids who are trying to discover where
they belong.

I am the only thoroughbred American – and yet I am the one feeling like
my identity is imposed.

Imposed from afar – this superficial connection to a piece of land. To
the Diaspora wanting to return “home”.



All these people are near the homeland of their parents, yet I, the only
one with no connection, am the only one who can easily pass.



Hearing the music of the Israeli clubs in Eilat freely traveling through
the air across the border – without getting stopped and searched and
judged along the way. The fish swim freely from one side to the other –
they know no borders.



I can see the cars driving down the main midrachov. Can they see me? Are
they saying ‘Oh, those Jordanians, those Muslims, those Arabs…’ and
judging me? The same way I once judged the people I now sit with? My
friends? All these Palestinians – the children of children of
Palestine, trying to get back to their homeland. Passed through the
generations. How many more refugee children must wander the dreary
shores of Aqaba, looking to the fun filled city they are refused entry
to?



The same waters polluted by similar peoples, constantly blaming each
other. The same sand. The same waves. The same sky. The same shooting
stars. They can probably see the same fireworks displayed for weddings.



They are just trying to communicate with their families, am I just
intruding?