Back in the same bagel-bar I posted from in February. Maybe I am trying to become acclimated to the American way of things? More likely I am a little bit masochistic. Sundays I don't work, so I went to see a movie at the cinematheque. Although I don't have to go into the office today I should be doing other work, so I brought my computer with me to take myself out for dinner. But of course I am procrastinating.
Once again, the grass is always greener. When I am not working I want a job of substance, but when I have a job of substance that requires some thinking I am overwhelmed. This was a really good idea when I was thinking about it a few weeks ago, when I could get most of the writing done before going away and just do a little bit of editing from the States. But of course things aren't flowing as easily as I had anticipated and I haven't gotten too much done. I had a few foreign visitors and friends going away and a wedding to attend - life got in the way. I haven't spoken to anyone in the office in a week and a half. Tomorrow is the moment of truth. I need to call to remind them I leave for the states on Weds, even though I still haven't signed a contract. Hopefully I can wake up early and get lots done and send them SOMETHING.
I have mixed feelings about going home. Maybe I have been in a good mood the last couple weeks because I knew I was going home and could take a break from all of this. When the bus driver didn't open the door I was waiting at, I moved to a different door and only yelled an aggravated "nahag" (driver) once. When a guy tried to pick me up on the street using the same pick up line he used on me last summer (or was it this year, a few months ago?) 'I think I've seen you around University. Is dis right? Want to go for a coffee?', I just said no and kept going, because I don't need the self esteem boost just now. I don't need to have coffee with a stranger. I met an intriguing one the other night, and heard back from my recent casual stint, so I am feeling okay. And I am leaving and don't have the energy. Because I will be back soon enough. And things will start to happen. I know they will.
I am excited about this wedding in the states in 2 weeks, but also nervous. SO many people from the past will be there - middle school, summer camp, family friends, Hebrew school, other friends I've met over time. There is something really great about knowing both sides and both families, but it also means I will know everyone and everyone will know me. In some ways I am in a good place right now, but it is so not where I expected to be. I finished grad school nearly 11 months ago, and I still don't have a full time job. Although I am intimidated by what is required of me for my second job, I am SO happy to have it. To have something of substance to say when someone asks "what do you do?" The other night I went to a social event for people in International Development Agencies. Having a cocktail at the American Colony right before helped me speak, and the new association gave me credibility, instead of the 'international sales consultant' line. Of course the first 2 people I met were heads of International Organizations to which I recently applied for jobs. But my name didn't ring a bell. Instead they were interested from which European country my name came from. And these guys are based in Jerusalem. Oy...
Ok. NOW I should work. Will try to update from the land of the free, though I expect to be computer-less. Any suggestions for 12 hours in Amsterdam?
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Long overdue thoughts from Jordan (early April)
My supermarket isn’t there anymore – it has been flattened.
Where there once were holes now stand buildings, and where there once were buildings now stand holes.
I walk downtown and take a serveece to my own neighborhood – I had forgotten that they are now at the top of the hill. I take it up to near the 2nd circle. My Internet café is closed. The chicken&fries guy is now a snazzy snack shop. The pizza place is joined with the burger place, with a sweet shop in the middle. There’s a new bakery – how can this neighborhood support 3? I really hope Diamond Bakery didn’t shut down, too. After a couple of weeks they got used to me buying $0.25 worth of bread at a time ~ 10 pieces of pita. I don’t have the patience to look for my fruit and vegetable stores – I used to oscillate between 3 or 4 different ones, and I want Reem. The stand is the same – that’s a relief. The last time I was here they had already institute the numbering system, so it wasn’t too confusing, except that my numbers was either an 8 or a 7 (I couldn’t tell if it was v or ^), but it all worked out in the end.
Walking down Zahran Street, it’s amazing to see street signs, English, and numbers on buildings. My apartment building is still there, with a sign that there is a flat available to rent. I am tempted to see how much cheaper it is than my current place in Jerusalem.
I walk down the newly cobbled rainbow street. The Egyptian camp that sprang up last summer for the workers has been disbanded. There are little rock parks and look out points and benches. Al Quds Cafeteria has totally been redone – it’s still a tiny store with falafel on toasted rolls, but the outside rock façade make it look fancy, as does the giant photo of the royal family. Meandering down to Books@café, it is mostly same, same. In general all these foreigners look the same – I just don’t recognize them anymore. I can’t believe that I lived here for a year, and how much has changed since then. Hopefully I have changed and grown up, too.
The trip was filled with near- misses, but it was fabulous:
I almost had to pay for the whole taxi to take me from the Damascus gate to Allenby, but at the final moment, as I was putting my things in the car, some Swedes showed up and we all shared the normal price.
I almost had to take a taxi back to Amman on my own, but then some Australians were confused and overwhelmed, so we shared.
D almost didn’t show to meet me for dinner and argilah, even though I went to the other side of town to find her.
I almost didn’t call DS. Luckily I got to his house just in time, right before the parade of houseguests, in town for an environmental conference. The guests from Lebanon had just met many members of my Arava family – what a small world.
I almost said no to the party invitation, but had no other plans at 11:30 on a Thursday night. So we piled into a couple of cars and drover out on the airport road, towards the fancy country club where the elite Ammanis go swimming and horseback riding.
We almost got into the party – but didn’t. Everyone was there. Music was blasting. People were drinking and bopping in their cars, and touching up makeup while waiting to get into the parking lot of the fairground. They thought they had the right wasta, but somehow it just didn’t work out. Instead I sat in the back seat, on the side of the road, people watching and listening to a Celine Dion CD and a conversation about relationships bil Arabi.
We almost had some car issues, after swerving around tiny country roads after letting the car run for 1.5 hours, but it was a false alarm. They guys checked under the hood and everything was normal. But when we got to Amman there was smoke. And we didn’t have any water and it was 2am and everything was home, so they sent me home in a taxi instead of dropping me back downtown. The taxi had to do a U-ey at a stop light, and as we were about to proceed through the intersection, the two cars ahead of us smashed into each other, but luckily my driver was not involved, and I made it back safe and sound, $2.50 later.
The next morning I almost overslept, but in the end made it to the bus station just 1 our after the expected departure time. Friday morning and most everything was closed, but luckily I got some water on the way through town. There was no direct route to the Dead Sea by public transport, so I expected to take a bus to a bus, or bus to a taxi. I was tired and not paying attention and didn’t mention where I was going – I was the only white girl on the bus. I thought they would tell me when we got to the stop closest to the Dead Sea, that they would realize it was not my intention to go visit an agricultural village in the Jordan Valley. But I was silent until the last stop, and then the drive was all ‘why didn’t you TELL me? Over by those taxis there may be a bus’, but there was no bus. Just a bunch of taxis. So I asked the taxi drivers who were busy smoking cigarettes and eating ice cream how I might get to the Dead Sea, feeling ready to negotiate down from 50 JD to 10, just in case. They laughed and said there was no bus, but that I could come with them. But how much? For free! They were off duty and having a family day at the beach. So they readjusted a little in the back seat – a ten year old girl shoved up against the window, then 18 year old woman holding a baby, then me, then a guy (brother? Husband?) Then the driver and another man in the front. I tried to give them money but they wouldn’t hear of it. As we drove down to the Dead Sea, we saw runners participating in the Dead Sea marathon (the reason I was there!) I tried to get them to cheer in English, but all they did was whistle and bang on the side of the car and scream ‘yallah, yallah!’ I was a little nervous about the police checkpoint since there was an excessive amount of people, but we got waved through. They couldn’t turn into the street with the hotels because all of the runners and police, so they dropped me on the main street and I walked down. I suppose 5-star hotels are not used to walk-ups – everyone comes in a car. They wanted to charge me 25JD to go swimming for the JD, but I sweetly explained that I was just there to visit my friend who had been running, and then I would go back to Amman in the night. They finally let me in after I promised I wouldn’t go swimming. In the lobby I tried calling S a couple of times, but she wasn’t in her room. I started to write a note for he to come find me, when she showed up. What a happy reunion! I swam (without paying) and ate and drank and was merry (and felt quite sick for a while) and had a fabulous time. And then made it back to Amman for a few more days of fun and adventures…
Where there once were holes now stand buildings, and where there once were buildings now stand holes.
I walk downtown and take a serveece to my own neighborhood – I had forgotten that they are now at the top of the hill. I take it up to near the 2nd circle. My Internet café is closed. The chicken&fries guy is now a snazzy snack shop. The pizza place is joined with the burger place, with a sweet shop in the middle. There’s a new bakery – how can this neighborhood support 3? I really hope Diamond Bakery didn’t shut down, too. After a couple of weeks they got used to me buying $0.25 worth of bread at a time ~ 10 pieces of pita. I don’t have the patience to look for my fruit and vegetable stores – I used to oscillate between 3 or 4 different ones, and I want Reem. The stand is the same – that’s a relief. The last time I was here they had already institute the numbering system, so it wasn’t too confusing, except that my numbers was either an 8 or a 7 (I couldn’t tell if it was v or ^), but it all worked out in the end.
Walking down Zahran Street, it’s amazing to see street signs, English, and numbers on buildings. My apartment building is still there, with a sign that there is a flat available to rent. I am tempted to see how much cheaper it is than my current place in Jerusalem.
I walk down the newly cobbled rainbow street. The Egyptian camp that sprang up last summer for the workers has been disbanded. There are little rock parks and look out points and benches. Al Quds Cafeteria has totally been redone – it’s still a tiny store with falafel on toasted rolls, but the outside rock façade make it look fancy, as does the giant photo of the royal family. Meandering down to Books@café, it is mostly same, same. In general all these foreigners look the same – I just don’t recognize them anymore. I can’t believe that I lived here for a year, and how much has changed since then. Hopefully I have changed and grown up, too.
The trip was filled with near- misses, but it was fabulous:
I almost had to pay for the whole taxi to take me from the Damascus gate to Allenby, but at the final moment, as I was putting my things in the car, some Swedes showed up and we all shared the normal price.
I almost had to take a taxi back to Amman on my own, but then some Australians were confused and overwhelmed, so we shared.
D almost didn’t show to meet me for dinner and argilah, even though I went to the other side of town to find her.
I almost didn’t call DS. Luckily I got to his house just in time, right before the parade of houseguests, in town for an environmental conference. The guests from Lebanon had just met many members of my Arava family – what a small world.
I almost said no to the party invitation, but had no other plans at 11:30 on a Thursday night. So we piled into a couple of cars and drover out on the airport road, towards the fancy country club where the elite Ammanis go swimming and horseback riding.
We almost got into the party – but didn’t. Everyone was there. Music was blasting. People were drinking and bopping in their cars, and touching up makeup while waiting to get into the parking lot of the fairground. They thought they had the right wasta, but somehow it just didn’t work out. Instead I sat in the back seat, on the side of the road, people watching and listening to a Celine Dion CD and a conversation about relationships bil Arabi.
We almost had some car issues, after swerving around tiny country roads after letting the car run for 1.5 hours, but it was a false alarm. They guys checked under the hood and everything was normal. But when we got to Amman there was smoke. And we didn’t have any water and it was 2am and everything was home, so they sent me home in a taxi instead of dropping me back downtown. The taxi had to do a U-ey at a stop light, and as we were about to proceed through the intersection, the two cars ahead of us smashed into each other, but luckily my driver was not involved, and I made it back safe and sound, $2.50 later.
The next morning I almost overslept, but in the end made it to the bus station just 1 our after the expected departure time. Friday morning and most everything was closed, but luckily I got some water on the way through town. There was no direct route to the Dead Sea by public transport, so I expected to take a bus to a bus, or bus to a taxi. I was tired and not paying attention and didn’t mention where I was going – I was the only white girl on the bus. I thought they would tell me when we got to the stop closest to the Dead Sea, that they would realize it was not my intention to go visit an agricultural village in the Jordan Valley. But I was silent until the last stop, and then the drive was all ‘why didn’t you TELL me? Over by those taxis there may be a bus’, but there was no bus. Just a bunch of taxis. So I asked the taxi drivers who were busy smoking cigarettes and eating ice cream how I might get to the Dead Sea, feeling ready to negotiate down from 50 JD to 10, just in case. They laughed and said there was no bus, but that I could come with them. But how much? For free! They were off duty and having a family day at the beach. So they readjusted a little in the back seat – a ten year old girl shoved up against the window, then 18 year old woman holding a baby, then me, then a guy (brother? Husband?) Then the driver and another man in the front. I tried to give them money but they wouldn’t hear of it. As we drove down to the Dead Sea, we saw runners participating in the Dead Sea marathon (the reason I was there!) I tried to get them to cheer in English, but all they did was whistle and bang on the side of the car and scream ‘yallah, yallah!’ I was a little nervous about the police checkpoint since there was an excessive amount of people, but we got waved through. They couldn’t turn into the street with the hotels because all of the runners and police, so they dropped me on the main street and I walked down. I suppose 5-star hotels are not used to walk-ups – everyone comes in a car. They wanted to charge me 25JD to go swimming for the JD, but I sweetly explained that I was just there to visit my friend who had been running, and then I would go back to Amman in the night. They finally let me in after I promised I wouldn’t go swimming. In the lobby I tried calling S a couple of times, but she wasn’t in her room. I started to write a note for he to come find me, when she showed up. What a happy reunion! I swam (without paying) and ate and drank and was merry (and felt quite sick for a while) and had a fabulous time. And then made it back to Amman for a few more days of fun and adventures…
Friday, March 28, 2008
Belated update
Blog thoughts from the last few weeks:
One thing that is nice in this country - when I introduce myself to new people, they always get my name on the first try. Its refreshing. With Arabs I sometimes explain that it is like “Shana Tova” because they expect my name to be Toba. Then I am out-ed.
Its confusing to walk down Ben Yehuda street, in the heart of West Jerusalem, wearing a skirt, looking religious, listening to Amer Diab and walking towards the East Side. Likewise, its confusing walking in East Jerusalem, wearing a skirt and looking all religious, listening to Shlomo Arzi.
At public appearances, why does the US consul have 2 men with ear-pieces in the room to walk him up and down to the stage and scan the room, while the European Community’s representative has none?
Mid-March, and the weather is hot, Hot, HOT. Tonight begins purim – the Jewish answer to Halloween. But people have been getting dressed up for days. Little girls have been dressed as princesses all week. Tonight is an excuse for the parents to start drinking.
Mid-March, and I’m still unemployed. I need to start keeping better track of my spending and curtail my food and recreation budget. And/or learn how to make a budget, and stick to it. I need to spend more time at people’s houses and less going out, but I still need to meet new people. I have a few applications to complete – it would help if I had my computer back. 3-Fucking-Weeks! I went for an interview at the call center. Not as bad as I expected. They pay is less than $10/hr, but I have no choice.
Why won’t the World Bank make a decision already?!
I went to Hebron. Another visit, another baby. I hadn’t been there since New Years. I need to try to make it once a month, or once every-other month. They need the distraction, but I don’t want them spending money on me. Next time I should bring chickens for Maqloubeh.
What a difference a couple of days can make! New ideas. New mind-sets. New people. New opportunities. And how quickly it can call go away again...
One thing that is nice in this country - when I introduce myself to new people, they always get my name on the first try. Its refreshing. With Arabs I sometimes explain that it is like “Shana Tova” because they expect my name to be Toba. Then I am out-ed.
Its confusing to walk down Ben Yehuda street, in the heart of West Jerusalem, wearing a skirt, looking religious, listening to Amer Diab and walking towards the East Side. Likewise, its confusing walking in East Jerusalem, wearing a skirt and looking all religious, listening to Shlomo Arzi.
At public appearances, why does the US consul have 2 men with ear-pieces in the room to walk him up and down to the stage and scan the room, while the European Community’s representative has none?
Mid-March, and the weather is hot, Hot, HOT. Tonight begins purim – the Jewish answer to Halloween. But people have been getting dressed up for days. Little girls have been dressed as princesses all week. Tonight is an excuse for the parents to start drinking.
Mid-March, and I’m still unemployed. I need to start keeping better track of my spending and curtail my food and recreation budget. And/or learn how to make a budget, and stick to it. I need to spend more time at people’s houses and less going out, but I still need to meet new people. I have a few applications to complete – it would help if I had my computer back. 3-Fucking-Weeks! I went for an interview at the call center. Not as bad as I expected. They pay is less than $10/hr, but I have no choice.
Why won’t the World Bank make a decision already?!
I went to Hebron. Another visit, another baby. I hadn’t been there since New Years. I need to try to make it once a month, or once every-other month. They need the distraction, but I don’t want them spending money on me. Next time I should bring chickens for Maqloubeh.
What a difference a couple of days can make! New ideas. New mind-sets. New people. New opportunities. And how quickly it can call go away again...
Monday, February 25, 2008
West Side
I am spending lots of time in the West, the Jewish section of Jerusalem. I have been defending Israel left and right, attending birthday parties where all the food is kosher and men wear Kippot, and going to the movies. Now that I have my membership and an empty apartment, I keep going to movies. For whatever reason, I keep seeing war movies - guns, explosions, death. It feels strange to watch in a culture that is so dominated by war and violence. I keep waiting for someone to run out crying, due to flashbacks.
Now I am sitting in a kosher Bagel restaurant, in a very American area. I don't know why I came here. I am half in the mood to run into people, half hiding. I am trying to explore different parts of this city, and I don't want to hide from certain neighborhoods anymore. Its not worth it. It is strange to be a place where you can have a "Bagel with a shmear". There's a large group of religious Americans sitting together, enjoying a birthday dinner of salads, pasta, and bagel sandwiches. There is a large boisterous man next to me telling inappropriate jokes, singing to himself, and playing fantasy computer games. There is a young couple with a young child who won't shut up, but for whatever reason they won't leave. At least I have gotten this out of my system, and I don't need to come to this area for a long, long time.
---
My birthday was last week. Lots of people came to help me celebrate, at a Tapas bar in West Jerusalem. It was amazing to have so many people from different places together - Jews, Christians, Muslims, and atheists. Israeli, Palestinian, American, Italian, Canadian, British. One friend I've known since I was 5, others from the Arava, some people I have just met in the last couple of weeks, and a friend who I first met randomly at a party in Jordan 3.5 years ago. The a large crew of friends of a friend tromped in, sang Happy Birthday in Hebrew, then left. At first the mingling wasn't so smooth, but by the end some numbers were exchanged. A success.
---
Friday was a little nutsy: I went on an alternative archeology tour of the City of David and Silwan. Did some quick food-shopping errands. Met up for cocktails with a friend and got some closure (and my French coffee press!). Then Friday night dinner with old family friends and a combo of random young people. Then out until 3am with a bunch of Israeli Arabs, drinking and smoking, getting stared at for using Arabic in public and feeling funny for still wearing my shabbat clothes at a dance bar.
All in all, an interesting night. More things happened over the weekend, but I have to get out of this neighborhood. I need to learn to live life NOW instead of just reflecting on what was and over thinking what could be. But I still need a job...
Now I am sitting in a kosher Bagel restaurant, in a very American area. I don't know why I came here. I am half in the mood to run into people, half hiding. I am trying to explore different parts of this city, and I don't want to hide from certain neighborhoods anymore. Its not worth it. It is strange to be a place where you can have a "Bagel with a shmear". There's a large group of religious Americans sitting together, enjoying a birthday dinner of salads, pasta, and bagel sandwiches. There is a large boisterous man next to me telling inappropriate jokes, singing to himself, and playing fantasy computer games. There is a young couple with a young child who won't shut up, but for whatever reason they won't leave. At least I have gotten this out of my system, and I don't need to come to this area for a long, long time.
---
My birthday was last week. Lots of people came to help me celebrate, at a Tapas bar in West Jerusalem. It was amazing to have so many people from different places together - Jews, Christians, Muslims, and atheists. Israeli, Palestinian, American, Italian, Canadian, British. One friend I've known since I was 5, others from the Arava, some people I have just met in the last couple of weeks, and a friend who I first met randomly at a party in Jordan 3.5 years ago. The a large crew of friends of a friend tromped in, sang Happy Birthday in Hebrew, then left. At first the mingling wasn't so smooth, but by the end some numbers were exchanged. A success.
---
Friday was a little nutsy: I went on an alternative archeology tour of the City of David and Silwan. Did some quick food-shopping errands. Met up for cocktails with a friend and got some closure (and my French coffee press!). Then Friday night dinner with old family friends and a combo of random young people. Then out until 3am with a bunch of Israeli Arabs, drinking and smoking, getting stared at for using Arabic in public and feeling funny for still wearing my shabbat clothes at a dance bar.
All in all, an interesting night. More things happened over the weekend, but I have to get out of this neighborhood. I need to learn to live life NOW instead of just reflecting on what was and over thinking what could be. But I still need a job...
