Another month, another post.

Back in the same bagel-bar I posted from in February. Maybe I am trying to become acclimated to the American way of things? More likely I am a little bit masochistic. Sundays I don't work, so I went to see a movie at the cinematheque. Although I don't have to go into the office today I should be doing other work, so I brought my computer with me to take myself out for dinner. But of course I am procrastinating.

Once again, the grass is always greener. When I am not working I want a job of substance, but when I have a job of substance that requires some thinking I am overwhelmed. This was a really good idea when I was thinking about it a few weeks ago, when I could get most of the writing done before going away and just do a little bit of editing from the States. But of course things aren't flowing as easily as I had anticipated and I haven't gotten too much done. I had a few foreign visitors and friends going away and a wedding to attend - life got in the way. I haven't spoken to anyone in the office in a week and a half. Tomorrow is the moment of truth. I need to call to remind them I leave for the states on Weds, even though I still haven't signed a contract. Hopefully I can wake up early and get lots done and send them SOMETHING.

I have mixed feelings about going home. Maybe I have been in a good mood the last couple weeks because I knew I was going home and could take a break from all of this. When the bus driver didn't open the door I was waiting at, I moved to a different door and only yelled an aggravated "nahag" (driver) once. When a guy tried to pick me up on the street using the same pick up line he used on me last summer (or was it this year, a few months ago?) 'I think I've seen you around University. Is dis right? Want to go for a coffee?', I just said no and kept going, because I don't need the self esteem boost just now. I don't need to have coffee with a stranger. I met an intriguing one the other night, and heard back from my recent casual stint, so I am feeling okay. And I am leaving and don't have the energy. Because I will be back soon enough. And things will start to happen. I know they will.

I am excited about this wedding in the states in 2 weeks, but also nervous. SO many people from the past will be there - middle school, summer camp, family friends, Hebrew school, other friends I've met over time. There is something really great about knowing both sides and both families, but it also means I will know everyone and everyone will know me. In some ways I am in a good place right now, but it is so not where I expected to be. I finished grad school nearly 11 months ago, and I still don't have a full time job. Although I am intimidated by what is required of me for my second job, I am SO happy to have it. To have something of substance to say when someone asks "what do you do?" The other night I went to a social event for people in International Development Agencies. Having a cocktail at the American Colony right before helped me speak, and the new association gave me credibility, instead of the 'international sales consultant' line. Of course the first 2 people I met were heads of International Organizations to which I recently applied for jobs. But my name didn't ring a bell. Instead they were interested from which European country my name came from. And these guys are based in Jerusalem. Oy...

Ok. NOW I should work. Will try to update from the land of the free, though I expect to be computer-less. Any suggestions for 12 hours in Amsterdam?